Jae's Starry Autumn Haven

Prayers to bring Japan back onto its Feet

Jae — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 22:20:34 +0000

In a place where cherry blossoms bloom flourish beautifully,

where laughter, unity and dreams are born.

An island which holds the most breathtaking music,

the most amazing animations and foods.

Where paintings of beautiful mountains, extending rivers,

villages, numerous forests and beautiful houses lie in peace.

A holy place where temple bells troll endlessly,

millions of prayers are said and how many shall be granted?

But peace can never last, mother nature just won’t allow it,

the longer a place remains in peace, the heavier the consequence.

Mother nature comes without warning,

with such violence and rage with a reason no one understands.

The power of earth arrives, earthquake rattles and trembles the very roots of Japan,

as grounds split, as civilians wish it was over.

Hundreds are died, bodies everywhere; cries filling the skies,

hundreds missing, children torn with mother’s arms, families scattered.

As in their hearts, they are praying over one billion times,

for the well-being and safety of their lived ones for this nightmare to end.

Who can hear the prayers that are stacking up and overflowing?

However mother nature won’t back away as easily as we thought,

the power of water arrived, bringing forth a tsunami washing over land.

Screams, cries, hearts are shaking at the sight,

as more families are torn apart and missing.

Fire eats away at the land and smoke filling the air, causing this once;

holy place to become a living hell ground.

Where are the temples bells troll, to settle the fear in their hearts?

Prayers from all over the world come into one beam of power for Japan.

Even if this was a punishment or test from mother nature,

let the prayers from voices and hearts all over the world reach Japan.

Let our voices of encouragement and prayers bring Japan onto its feet,

so the torched, trampled, and soaked land may be rebuilt and born anew.

So it may return to its once beautiful scene and breathtaking composure,

allow the cherry blossoms to bloom once more…

filling the skies with not pain and smoke,

but love, calmness and peace once more for this island.

Let our prayers linger over the hearts and land of Japan,

let our praying allow families to be reunited.

Allowing hearts and bodies to unite with loved ones,

allowing the deceased to watch over their beloved ones everyday.

Allowing children to find the arms of their mothers once more.

Washing away fear, renewing happiness and peace,

allow the cherry blossoms to be the bringer of hope.

Let our prayers from all four corners of the world,

bring Japan back onto its feet.

~Jae

Friend’s Sigh (Dedicated to a friend)

Jae — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 13:47:03 +0000

Wind and sand has caused uneasiness in the calm skies,

Inside my heart, there is still an uneasiness and discomfort.

Hoping to see you once more again,

will fate allow it?

I look longingly to see you there again.

As I stay here in this empty area,

guarding it and protecting it till you return.

Who can understand why I am here guarding it?

But, then I realize you were always here,

even if you are not here physically, you are here emotionally.

You who doesn’t question or complain.

My wish was only to be able to meet someone like you.

Someone who can understand myself better than myself.

Now, you’ve gone far beyond my eyes can see,

Yet, you never questioned my bond with you,

there is nothing difficult to understand.

You caused me to realize my dream,

as others tried to tear it down,

you who always stood there encouraging me and comforting me,

more than anyone ever could.

Who can replace you on this road full of bumps?

Perhaps, it could have ended or continued differently,

but first we must use our hearts to face each other.

With no words left unsaid between us.

Only then can we really have a bond of everlasting.

You who was once always there,

your hair has turned white without knowing,

the wind has blown over us again and again.

Not wishing, yet pleading to be able to start over.

Only wishing for you to return,

even if I behead myself I can’t exchange it back for your presence.

In the end all the struggling and avoiding,

looking out at the ocean before us,

has turned nothing but into a sea of fire.

I have no more strength anymore,

as I slowly give in and give up,

I know your heart has gone far beyond reach,

mine has slowly been dying,

as I remember the day you left.

As I wave my hand, I realized,

its no one’s fault but my own and no one’s to blame but myself.

There is no one who understands anymore,

only you can see the tears I cry.

Oh, how I wish you can return,

I wish to be able to grasp your heart tightly and never let go.

Who will continue to walk by my side through this?

My hair has turned white as seasons come and go,

wind has blown over me again and again.

I only wish for us to start over again once more.

As I stood waiting for you to return,

memories fill my mind, as I wonder if your hair has turned white like mine.

In the end all of the avoiding and struggling,

was wasted time to ignore what was already happening inside my heart.

No more strength, no more energy,

as everything is too late and there is no turning back.

Because, your heart has gone so far out of reach.

That, I will perhaps never be able to see again.

~Jae

Fairytales Come True (Dedicated to four friends)

Jae — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 00:36:41 +0000

Once two girls who lived in a castle,

so great, so pure, so innocently as days went by.

But, life is never as smooth as we hope for,

life is never fair even to those who are kind-heart.

Life is just so cruel that way…

They met many bumps and obstacles in life,

many times they’ve fallen.

Many times they’ve gotten back up,

no matter how hard the road could be before them.

Many times they’ve moved forward,

learning from their pasts.

No matter how much it still hurt to think of the past,

they’ve made it through and stand proudly,

to say I’ve made it through the worst.

Even if I fall I won’t allow myself to again.

With each bump they encountered,

they without knowing grown stronger,

braver and grown with more willpower and confidence.

These two young girls touched the lives,

the hearts of two white horse princes.

When they thought true love never existed,

nor would they have the honor to run into true love again.

After promises being broken,

hearts being shattered,

these two knights before them,

rebuilt what was lost,

rebuilt what was broken

and gave them hope that true love existed still.

True love was on earth, true love was possible to everyone,

as long as they reached out to find it.

Even if its one in a million possibilities and chances,

these two girls found it after long last.

They say fairy tales are nothing but stories,

that there was no life or death love,

there was no love that could withstand all.

Yet, they prove those opinions wrong,

fairy tales can come true.

If you are willing to trust, to try,

to reach out and grab a star from the starry night sky.

Now, unable to break free and unwilling to,

break free of each others gazes.

True love was in their hands, everlasting love,

lifetime again and again,

would they wish they’ll meet again and fall in love again.

One hundred times, one thousand times,

till fate won’t allow it anymore.

For, no one understood their hearts better,

than the opposite, no one understood,

what they been through than the opposite.

The strength and power of true love won’t be broken.

It will withstand anything that comes at it.

There is only one of each of them,

an irreplaceable treasure in their eyes and hearts.

How many people long for true love to find them,

yet uses a lifetime to find it and ends up with nothing.

They are blessed and given the world’s greatest gift,

to have found the one they been looking for,

all along.

They would die for each other,

they breath the same air, they live for each other,

they dream of each other.

They feel each others’ presence right next to them each day.

Their longing for each other is most breathtaking.

If one was to die or leave,

the other would follow to the world’s end without question,

till they can find that feeling again, that face again,

that hand they long for.

True love is most selfless, as long as the other is well.

Even if one’s self is unwell, it doesn’t matter to themselves,

but it matters still to that one even if they are not here.

Sometimes, the person we may most love can’t be with us forever.

But, they forever exist in our hearts,

they won’t fade or grow old with that memory in our hearts.

As long as we close our eyes,

we can hear them, we can see them ever so clearly.

They are everything, each girl wants to be,

and they are everything a boy wishes to be.

True love can raise them up to the skies,

gravity can no longer matter.

No one can stand or stop them,

even the very power of nature,

won’t be split to cause them to let go of,

the hand which they hold so tightly in their graps.

They never wish to lose this feeling,

they never wish to lose sight of them,

forever to everlasting of eternity,

will they live in a fairytale which,

will be remembered by all.

Who said fairy tales aren’t real?

They are more realistic than anything you see,

or anything you own…

The story of true love,

of meeting, of falling in love, of bonds,

of sharing and enduring all together,

no matter what comes at them hand in hand.

The story is right before your very eyes…

Fairy tales do come true…believe in them and you will find yours.

~Jae

Wishing for your Understanding

Jae — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 21:14:11 +0000

I stand at the window at night,

thinking over what you said, thinking over what we are.

Thinking of how much I love you and thinking of how much,

you loved me and the memories we shared.

You mean the world to me and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

I know you would be the same as well.

But, I wish for your understanding, I wish to know what’s on your mind.

I wish to to be able to get all the questions you have in your heart,

allowing me to answer them and give us both reassurance.

I have given to you my all, my heart, my love and my feelings,

I hoped you’ve done the same for me.

Countless hours and seasons may pass,

but you are always my first and top priority,

I never wish to lose you,

I never want to let go of your hand and heart.

But, I wish to be able to know what you were thinking,

what you need and want from me.

I need to know your worries, your doubts, your questions,

your all, I reassured you again and again.

I remain loyal to you in soul, heart, spirit and flesh.

The past is long gone and will never return,

what is now, is most important in my eyes.

What was once done, can’t be undone,

please just use your heart and arms and embrace me on this journey to the,

very end of time for us.

Till death do us part, I only ask for you to open up to me.

For me to rid you of those questions, those uneasiness and those worry.

I only want to treasure the person before me now,

that person is you and no one else.

I want you to help me to understand you,

to understand your thoughts and all and over thoroughly.

Till there is nothing but the purity and peace between us,

of everlasting love that burns so brightly.

I wish for what we share to never have to end.

I wish for your arms shielding me for harm.

I wish for your understanding and wish for you to,

allow me to understand you.

I will not grow weary, till I rid you of insecurity,

returning to you the security you had but never knew you did.

I want all your worries to be washed away, I want my worries to wash away.

I want each day to be happy and cheerful and carelessly,

brewing in love and never have an insecure thought again.

Please, just come and wrap me up in your arms,

washing away all your thoughts and mine as well.

We will just be a pair of careless butterflies, flying through a field of flowers.

Not questioning, only enjoying the peace and drowning

in the love expanding from our hearts.

I once again wish for you to come through for me,

for us and for the future that has yet to come.

I await you right here and no where else…

Breaking Glass

Jae — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 14:37:31 +0000

Relationships, families, friendships are all glass made.

Glass can be easily broken, but it takes time,

to glue the pieces all back together.

Because it was one small mistake we made,

now we are faced with a floor full of broken glass.

We get, scrapped, bruised and hurt as we try,

to patch back the glass which once was breathtaking.

But, even if we rebuild the broken glass, it can easily break again and again.

We met for a reason, we were brought together for a reason,

we were made to be together for a reason.

But, if we don’t treasure the gift, the bonds, the blessing.

Treating what we have for granted, then the glass will shatter.

Its easy to meet someone you can exchange hearts with,

its easy to meet someone to talk to, heart to heart.

But, to keep and protect that is even harder than when we met.

If we can protect the glass to the very end,

then it will become the most elegant and priceless crystal of our lives.

But, if we don’t treasure and protect it,

then the glass will break on impact and shatter to a thousand pieces.

Then, we are left with nothing but deep regret and pain.

Glass is meant to be protected and guarded well,

because you must keep in mind.

You may never be able to find a better piece of glass again.

Before, you cause harm to that piece of glass,

you must ask yourself and take a step back.

Is this what you want to do?

Is there really no other way around this?

Are you really willing to break this glass and suffer,

the consequences awaiting for you?

To meet, to know, to exchange hearts, to love,

to trust each other with their lives.

Its a long step and long time process which no one can rush at.

If you rush or harm the bonds, then the glass will crack.

A small crack will turn into a large crack and then break completely down.

So, please please, treasure what you have before you,

don’t allow it to wither away or break in your possession.

Building a glass piece may be easy, but rebuilding,

what is lost or damaged is harder and might take a lifetime…

Treasure what you have and never allow it to wither away,

for your own sake and the ones entwined with you as well.

If we were to part, then why did we meet?

Jae — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:50:11 +0000

At that moment, you gave me a smiling face.

Causing my heart to beat for a lifetime,

it was my eyes that remembered your back for a lifetime.

Young years have grown to old age,

yet I still can’t love.

As I turn around, suddenly all seems so crystal clear.

Recalling your eyes in my memory,

From now on, it would be hard to recall my own memories.

The night is deep and silent,

dreams cause us to become restless now.

If parting is unavoidable,

then why did we meet in this lifetime?

Why did we meet in this lifetime?

As the shooting star flies pass us,

there is nothing left but longing and sorrow.

A thousand years from now,

who can still remember who?

Memories are fantasy, when we die,

years pass by thousands,

will anyone still remember us, remember the love we once had?

Your smile turned everything into colors,

causing my heart to beat for you this entire lifetime.

Your smile was so priceless,

your love to me was something that wouldn’t come,

for another thousand years.

If we have part, then why did we meet in this lifetime?

Your eyes remain in my memories to this day,

my eyes gave you the warmth, you longed for.

Your eyes last forever in my lifetime,

young years have left, old years have come,

yet I can’t love you still.

Yet, my heart longs for you so much.

Wishing on a passing shoot star for this feeling to never fade,

for your eyes to remain in my mind,

a thousand years from now, who can still remember us?

If parting is meant for us, then why did we meet in this lifetime,

as the skies and heavens cry in agony for us.

As I turn, suddenly everything seems so crystal clear.

If we met to part, then why did we meet in the first place?

Why must I carry this heart wrenching feeling in my heart.

I can no longer do anything,

but I remember your eyes, your words of vows.

If we met to part, then why, why,

can anyone tell me why we have to meet?

Thousands of years from now, who can still remember who,

who can still remember us and who we were?

Pretense

Jae — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 01:29:29 +0000

Many times we as humans put a pretense face,

to hide what we are really feeling.

We are afraid to face the bitterness of love,

we use a pretense face of joy and laughter to cover what we feel.

But, someday even us, ourselves can’t deny our pretense is not good enough.

We gather all the strength in our hearts,

wishing for a better pretense to use,

so our emotions can remain buried in the depths of our heart.

For we fear if our pretense face breaks,

then we can’t help but run into the arms of the one we love,

falling into their arms, we will spill our soul and heart to them.

All we can do is gather up the strength in our hands,

like wet sand and use it to smear upon our faces,

to hide our true emotions that can sometimes be seen so easily.

Even when we write to someone,

we use a pretense to reassure and comfort them,

we are fine with it, we aren’t sad.

Yet, is that how our heart really feels?

Our pretense face can fool ourselves, others,

but can it fool our own heart?

Fool our heart and what it beats for?

We put upon our pretense face of happiness,

so the one who leaves us can feel assured we are okay.

Someday, when we think about it again,

we still force a pretense face smiling at it, even though it still hurts.

Bitter can turn into sweet, if we allow ourselves,

to run into the arms of the one we love and spill our mind.

But, we would rather stick with bittersweet,

for we are selfish like that.

We want it to be a bitter and still a sweet memory.

We don’t care how the other thinks,

we will keep our pretense face up, until the day they find true happiness.

We only stare from afar without a word,

so many times happiness brushed past us,

yet we haven’t the strength to make happiness stay,

to make happiness last forever by our side.

Let us stand alone with our pretense face,

a face that we know too well.

So well, that we can no longer discard like trash.

For it has been used too many times,

we can no longer discard it, for it has become one with us.

For a person who is special to our heart,

we no longer have the chance to run into their arms.

We lost to ourselves, to our hateful pretense face and to them.

It was a fair fight, it was our decision,

let us sleep forever in our selfish decision and pretense face.

When we chose to not run into their arms,

to let our pretense face remain, that was when there,

was no more turning back.

But, we do admit our pretense face is not good enough,

we faked through the world, through love, through life,

through everything, but we couldn’t fake our own emotions.

All those endless nights where we sit up in bed,

we stare at our reflection in the mirror at our pretense face.

We falsified all but our heart and emotions,

let us sit here forever like this…

Those arms we known so well,

no longer will be open wide for us,

all that embraces us is empty air,

for those arms are a comfort and embracing another.

We allowed that chance to slip through our fingers,

the day we allowed our pretense to take over us…

Fulfillment

Jae — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:20:51 +0000

Sometimes, we must learn to let go.

When we let go, we still can be fulfilled,

for what we lost, is not gone forever.

It shall remain in our memories,

till the day we leave from the world as well.

Then, memories of us will be remembered,

but others no matter if the memories we leave behind,

are sad, joyful, hateful, regretful or fearful.

The memories will be passed down,

again and again.

We won’t be forgotten in the hearts of those we were loved by.

Because, even though we may be separated for eternity.

Just to be able to reminisce the past and memories.

Even if the memories are fearful and a burden.

We can’t bear but to hold them close to our hearts.

For those memories are the last things,

we have of that someone.

Nothing matters anymore, we were left behind.

Those who are left behind, are the ones,

who suffer the most.

But memories bind us, that’s why,

we feel fulfilled no matter how much times passes by.

No matter how much space is between us,

they are less than an inch from us,

yet we can’t reach them.

All we may have are memories of those who’ve left.

To accompany us everyday as we continue,

to walk down the path of life.

To many not all,

that may be the most happiest and fulfilled moment.

For us, giving us a reason to smile and not

live in sadness or regret.

Unsaid words may be said in our dreams to you,

unfinished business can await for a next life.

For now, let us just rest with memories of you every night.

It shall be the most fulfilled thing in our life.

Secretive Friend

Jae — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 13:53:33 +0000

The winds which never blow too strongly,

will allow us to avoid love and that moment of restlessness.

The colors of the sky is so cold,

the kindness and dream remains upon the chest,

while remembering your face.

We live together in this moment,

whenever we talk about your name,

the heart still beats.

Yearning to reunite,

yet we want to bump, yet afraid to bump into that restlessness again.

Perhaps our age was truly too young that time,

blindly and recklessly entering our own worlds.

How to ask the other to choose,

allowing lovesickness to continue to linger.

A hand we can’t touch or reach,

from now on is a secretive friend.

This is my stubbornness and stubbornness always.

Has nothing to do with you and the tears you try to hide.

A hand we can’t touch or reach,

but its a hand which is even more warmer than a lover’s.

If there was a what if, but there is no what if,

There is only the loss of kindness and

most kindest.

When there is a time when a dream is emptied,

remembering how it was to be loved.

That restlessness and the coldness of the skies,

Kindness warms in my head, along with your face upon my chest.

Maybe our age was truly too young during that time.

Blindly and recklessly running into our own worlds freely.

That is a choice which allows both of us to decide.

Its not a winding up clock.

A hand we can’t touch or reach,

from now on is our secretive friend.

This is my stubbornness and my continuing stubbornness,

which the tears you fall you try to stop from falling.

A hand I can’t reach or touch,

yet its more warmer and safer than a lover’s.

What if, there was no what if,

only the loss of the kindness, is the most kindest.

A hand I can’t reach or touch,

from now on will be a secretive friend.

This is my stubbornness and continuing my stubbornness.

I have decided to no longer find you,

A hand I can’t reach or touch,

yet its a hand which is longer than a lover’s lasting forever.

But, what if there was no what if,

only the loss of once having, is the thing that lasts forever.

Three Wishes for friends

Jae — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:34:48 +0000

To be able to meet each other,

in the sea of people among the world is fate.

To be able to meet and create a bond is destiny,

to be able to know there are friends out there is a wish come true.

The first wish for friends is,

wishing for friends to express from their hearts to each other.

To be able to use their true face, their true self and heart,

to face their friends for it to be reality.

Or otherwise, they are only living in a fantasy world.

Second wish is for,

friends to treasure the bond they share.

For them to stand up for each other when needed,

most of all to never turn upon or against each other.

Because to be able to meet friends who can speak from their hearts is a gift.

When you turn on your friends,

you will leave nothing but a name hated by all.

Third wish is the last and wraps up the wishes,

friends must be grateful for the friends you have.

To be able to treasure every memory we share and make.

So, someday we may look back and laugh and joke about the sweet,

bitter, troubling memories.

Everyone memory is sweet as long as we have friends,

thus grateful for their presence in our lives.

If friends can remember these three wishes,

keeping them close to mind and self everyday.

Then, everyday is a sunny day,

everyday is life in the heavens.

Because, you know you have friends out there,

will treasure you like the million of stars in the darkened skies.

Even if we can’t see each other,

our hearts are bonded together by friendship always.